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Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Feeling Blue

It's after midnight and I'm up, again...

I'm missing my kiddos and co-workers.  I've been on leave for a couple of weeks due to my Fibromyalgia flaring up.  Stress does that.  I can't say that I'm relaxed but I am not breaking out in hives everyday.  BIG Improvement!

It breaks my heart every time I let my mind wander over to teaching.  I miss the children.  This year I had such a wonderful, dream class.  They were so sweet and eager to learn.  I am confident that the teacher that took my place is proficient and kind hearted but I still miss them.  It is amazing how attached you can get in nine weeks.

I'm not sure what the future will bring.  I try to think ahead and feel blue so right now I am living in the moment.  Learning how to cherish the subtle small things in life we take for granted in the daily grind.

My uncle is gravely ill and does not have long to live.  I am choosing to focus on the moments with him now.  I do not want to think of the future, nor dwell in the past.  This is so hard.

Between the limitations of my body and the limited time with my uncle, I am learning an important lesson in life.  I have always been a planner and I have always looked ahead but sometimes you have to look and enjoy the second.  Find joy, spread joy, spread love.

My teacher neighbor was/is an angel.  As a going away gift she gave me a special magnet with a beautiful saying, "When the caterpillar thought its world was over, it became a butterfly."  Change is hard, tremendously hard.  This mantra repeats in my head and offers comfort.

Every year I read the Blue Day book to the kids.  It is a wonderful resource in teaching the children how to cheer themselves up.  As a teacher I always aimed to empower the children.  I want them to take charge of their learning and find strength in themselves.  If you haven't read this book.  I HIGHLY recommend it!

Suddenly, I don't feel so blue...

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