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Thursday, June 5, 2014

Emotional Goodbye

In case you didn't know I have been on a leave of absence since late November.  When I left, I knew I would be out through the end of the year and possibly the next year.

My amazing grade level teachers helped me pack up my "teaching life" in a day or two and I've kept my distance mostly due to the emotion of it all and to let the children bond with their new teacher.

I had promised when I left that I would come back and see them so that last week of school, I stopped by and saw my "babies" again and my heart swelled.  It was a nice visit and made my heart hurt when I left.  I loved these kiddos!

The sweet teacher who took my place asked me to come the following week to pick up the rest of my belongings.  I thought it would fill the trunk.

Boy was I wrong!  Two days and three more carloads later, I had most of my "stuff."

Today, I had some alone time in my "home away from home" and it was almost too  much to bear.

I resigned in May with a heavy heart but knowing I needed to embark on a new chapter.  Even though I had been off for so long, this was the "long" goodbye.  I had moments of quiet introspection and sweetly remembered the joys this profession has brought me through the years.

Soon after, I had the long good-bye with coworkers.  The reality set in that I was not coming back.  I was not coming back...

At least not for now.  I love teaching but I love my family more.  If I was healthy and energetic like I used to be, I could have better balance but I'm not and something had to change.

I may return when my daughter gets older but for now I will enjoy school from a different perspective.  I will be the volunteer, the room mom, the parent with questions.

The joys of teaching without the pressure.  It may not seem so but I am a perfectionist when it comes to work and am my own worst critic.  Now I can come in help remediate and read with students who need the help, knowing I do not have the endless paperwork and data entry that has infiltrated the profession.

Yes there is a place for this but not when it impedes creative thinking, lesson plans, and the ability to differentiate instruction to meet the many ever changing needs of children.

So forgive me know if I start posting more... Letting go is hard and Groovy Educator is my outlet to a career I never thought I would step away from.